> Running: Mad Scientist Personality Test... > There are four basic types of mad scientist. > Learn yours by choosing an ending to each of > the following sentences. > Begin now. 1. When I first wake up, I... remove the cranial interface that uploads knowledge into my brain while I sleep. verify that my test subjects are writhing in as much misery as I left them in before I went to bed. kill the ignoramus who didn't follow my instructions to the letter last night. push away the twisted, smoldering debris and determine which dimension I've just entered. 2. My clone is... a source of spare body parts for myself. my arch-nemesis. madly in love with me. taking my place in normal life so that I have time for more interesting things. 3. My diabolical scheme will... make clear the ultimate nature of the universe, not that anyone will be able to understand it but me. put on a better show than two black holes colliding! turn every living being in existence into a pawn for my commanding. cut a wailing swath of anguish through all who have forsaken me, which would be everybody. 4. Friends are... irrelevant, even if I had any. useful if they'll do what I say. just enemies I haven't made yet. accidentally blown up sometimes. 5. When my test subject starts crying, I... promise to invent something that can erase their memory when the experiment is over. hand an assistant the manual I wrote for this sort of situation and have them take care of it. hardly notice because I am concentrating on my work. remove their eyeballs and reattach them with an optic nerve extention cord so that they can watch themselves be a sniveling coward. 6. I've been invited to a romantic dinner and I... just want to put the finishing touches on the holoprogram before I enter it. realigned the stars to spell out my date's name. have my genetically engineered aphrodisiacal flowers all set. need to arrive at the restaurant early in order to rig every exit to lock after we're seated. 7. When the authorities break into my lab, I... pump telepathy gas into the room and observe how long they can stand to be around each other. kill whoever forgot to lock the door and reiterate the security protocols to my minions. just continue with my experiments. That's always been enough to scare them off. transfer my consciousness into one of their stronger, healthier bodies and let them have mine. © 2002 Liz Kalter